This goes for the uninitiated and also to those unfortunate souls who were not present during my profile at valfi. The words have been crafted by Akshay Saxena and inputs have been from all my enemies
. Well to find that out simply keep on reading!!
Syed Ahmed Misbah Misbahuddin Aatif Yunus
Aatif’s life has been a story of almost been there almost done that. He is almost TDH. He is tall and dark afterall. He was almost Lit Secy and then almost Cult Co and almost DGSec. Considering he’s a Bihari, his political career at IIT has been shocking.
In his freshie year, Aafat as he likes to call himself had aspirations of being the stereotypical H2 Lit stud. He could be seen everywhere paining people and showing enthu. Sadly it was his painu-tendencies that were taken note of and he received his first break as an actor in the freshie dram. It goes without saying that the judges found his portrayal of the painu house guest extremely lifelike. Aatif was almost a dram stud now. Yet it remained another unfulfilled dream. Sadly, in his next role as the lead actor in H2’s socials, Aatif was asked to dance. Our man was so gifted at shaking his leg that poor Anshul Sharan was made to wear a mask and act as his dance double.
Aatif however did manage to do a few things right. Somewhere in his second year he came to the conclusion that he should start applying the one talent God had given him; his intelligence. He plunged into tech and academics. Techfest 2003 was his defining moment. Yantriki, Chemsplash and Last straw, the cash began to flow in. In a bout of insanity the Techfest team made him Chemsplash Manager and apna Aatif finally stud ban gayaa.
This boost to his self confidence caused him to embark on a series of misadventures, with women. He tried hard. First with the love of his Jamshedpur life, Aditi Roy Ghatak. So impressed was she with his fighting spirit that she gave him a shirt that says “Impossible means I’m Possible.” Aatif’s worn that shirt so long an so often, we were almost sure he’d wear it to his valfi. He then tried pataoing babes through Tech. Cheeka in Chemsplash, Maal Hai in yantiki, the list is endless. Once again a bad move, par Aatif ko kaun chamkaye. Yes, phir kuch bhi ho na sakaa.
Aatif soon realized that since his charms didn’t seem to be working on women, he should go for the next best thing. Unsuspecting inhabitants of his wing! He resorted to wearing a close up smile on his face and nothing else. Many an unsuspecting wingie found himself wriggling out of his clutches ad odd hours in the night. An inkling of his sheer obscenity can be gained from the ‘Miss Obscene’ title he won in his freshie year. In a fit of madness, a few of his friends took him along to Goa. Aatif was right at home. Since he ran no risk of getting tanned any further, he decided to have a ball. We would elaborate further but this profile would then have an R rating. Lets just leave it at.. We’ll never ever do that again. His HOMO-sapien tendencies have been proven photographically, when he tried to "take advantage" of an unsuspecting friend at Nariman Point.
This seemingly philanthropic person, would be more than happy to give you a lift when you catch him after the class, but the effort goes to waste when you realize that -
1. His bike is parked at the main gate.
2. It has no petrol.
3. He has no Money.
4. You HAVE money.
5. He is hungry.
Never approach Aatif with money. It will disappear. He took his batchmates for a "treat" to Elephanta, which ended up being dutch. He was found selling an extra ticket for a Movie in black, that too AFTER he had watched the movie! He went to fashion street and bought bright girls t-shirts because they were 10 rupees cheaper. The worst part is that he attempted to lure his wingies towards him by wearing those shirts.
Luckily Aatif managed some success in his love life in his fourth year. Though this does not mean that ANYONE around his is safe, it is still some respite. ‘A Virus’ entered his life and turned things topsy turvy. Aatif became dangerous to be around. His phone got glued to his ear and in order to impress ‘A Virus’ this violently anti alcoholic tea-totaller took to the booze, but not without spilling and diluting his peg 10 times over - if you don't believe us, ask DEAN, who was in a totally sober state when he observed this phenomenon (sic). His mounting phone bills and a sudden affinity to alcohol turned him into a threat to wallets everywhere. “Yaar paise udhaar de de, main Japan se bhej doonga.” Yeah right Aatif we believe you. When Aatif's outgoing calls were blocked, he resorted to cajoling wing mates to walk all the way to the main gate for a ‘glass of juice’ only so that miyaan could ditch them and walk out for a lovey dovey phone call.
Footnote: Aatif and ‘A Virus’ are only "good friends, I can't even think of anything else, I've always been good friends with girls, I don't think It will happen.".
So, drunken this man has become, in love and in liquor, but then again, success has also not been far behind - from being involved in hostel and IIT activities, this tech stud has held the prestigious position of Insti Tech Nominee, and was there to receive the trophy from our DOSA, who sadly missed the opportunity to shake hands with him, because he was busy showing off his trophy. This Techfest manager, has landed a wonderful job in P&G Japan, and would soon be flying all the way from here to the island nation - Aatif, we wish you all the best in all your future endeavors, and will miss you like hell.
